Have you ever been praying for your spouse about something...some aspect of their character that you are asking God to address and...nothing? I mean this thing (in your view) is of upmost priority so you interceed on his/her behalf for a long minute, and...crickets.
You know that your spouse is in relationship with God. You walk in the "prayer closet" early in the morning to pray...only to find him already there. She's studying the Word. You see God working in many ways by the unselfish love and patience displayed in their "being-ness". But on your particular point of urgent priority, it seems that God has not moved.
God recently addressed one my "urgent" spousal prayer requests, quite matter-of-factly and devoid of the SOS priority and fanfare that I had envisioned. And while I was raising my hands in praise and shouting hallelujah to God for 'fixing' my beloved...he shows me that he is just as much 'fixing' my urgent issues of impatience, mistrust and take charge-ism.
God is CAPABLE and FAITHFUL. For my personal benefit, I will reiterate that...God is CAPABLE and FAITHFUL. Do we really believe that He has the power to move? No matter how I contest, based on my actions, evidently I did not. Either that, or I just felt that God was moving too slowly (it's ugly, but honest). So, I prepared to speed things along, and contemplated choosing a nice mirror to shine on my love.
In the past, when my husband held that spiritual mirror up to me, it wasn't fun. I felt some kind of way and it would take time for God and me to work through it. Apparently, I must have forgotton those ill feelings because I was preparing to pick up the spiritual mirror to point at Len.
See, while we may see those 'opportunity areas' in our partners and be inclined to share such liberating truth with them, Matthew 7:6 lets us know that our spouse may not yet be ready to receive our "pearls" of truth. I admit, I have been rather "swine-like" in the past. To coin a phrase from the movie, "A Few Good Men", I couldn't handle the truth!
To be clear, I am not condoning non-confrontational dysfunctionalism. Certainly, there is a time and place to confront issues. One might ask, 'Well, how do I know when I'm supposed to confront issues and when I'm supposed to pray about them and wait on the Lord?'. The Holy Spirit will guide you. That is, of course, if you are in the practice of two-way communication with Him...(more on that in a later blog).
Trust God - (and his timeline) to do the spiritual work of transformation in your spouse. Put the mirrors down and stay in your lane. Release your concerns about your spouse to God and let Him handle them in His time. Ask Him for grace through this process.
Prayer:
Lord, thank you for my spouse. He/she is ____________________________________________
and they are such a blessing to me and our family. Lord, my husband/wife _________________.
I pray that you will continue to work in his/her life to make him/her more like You. Likewise, work in me. Make me more like You and keep me open and willing to clean up my own house...because surely I can find enough work there to keep me occupied. May our marital relationship glorify you. Amen.
Feel free to share your thoughts!
Definitely a word fitly spoken! Thank you! There are times when it just feels like you're going under. I have to admit I do look at the the waves (money/finances, health, unrest). At times I know I have reached out to other's wanting advice INSTANTLY as if they were my "god". I like to call them the howling winds. I got/get caught up in taking cues from what others say instead of keeping my mind stayed on Christ (Isaiah 26:3). I knew I could do better and my only defense has been to PRAY and stay in prayer. I joined a prayer group locally and rekindled a wanting relationship with my telephone prayer group. Things certainly are not perfect however when they look bad, I realize I do not have to conclude that they will remain bad; instead I am waiting for my Lord to show up! Interceding in prayer for those we love is the BEST gift we can ever give. Prayer can reach where we cannot. Meditate on Matthew 14.
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